I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
