I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
