Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
