actually, I'm a sock model
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
