Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wish my penis had a tongue
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
