Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
