Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
