There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize