I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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