Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Never underestimate the power of titties
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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