Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize