I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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