When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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