Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
