I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
