We're like a lot better than the average bears
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
