it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
