he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
