I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
