So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
