we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
