whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
