there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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