And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
