How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize