Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
