I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
