How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
