The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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