Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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