i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
