This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We have started to decorate penises.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize