Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
