try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
