Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
