that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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