he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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