She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
