oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
