Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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