you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
