He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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