The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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