i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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