I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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