We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We are two peas in an std pod
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
