Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
