my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
