its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
