would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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