The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
