those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
