But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
