So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
