too bad you live with your parents still
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
