I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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