AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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