let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
