I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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