16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
