how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize