there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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