I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
