The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
