best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
