Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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