Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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