is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
