yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize