I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize