i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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