who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
