I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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