The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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