oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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